Most people don't know this, but I started photography when I was 16 and my neighbor sold me a cheap Pentax film camera and a few lenses for a couple hundred bucks. I was immediately enraptured. Unfortunately, a spill on my moped ended that charmed state, when the camera got busted into a thousand fragments.
Twenty years later I started again, when my friend Chuck loaned me one of his Nikon cameras. The romance of creating visual art began again, and for the past 8 years I have tried to cultivate that relationship. Each time I shoot, I have poured in my heart, my time, my money, and ultimately bits of my soul, all for an art that I have felt so passionate about. I have done it for myself - to feel that I am a creator. I have done it for my ego - to feel that I am making a difference. I have done it for our models and clients - to feel that I am bringing them joy and esteem. I have done it for our audience - to feel that I am bringing them enjoyment and inspiration.
But I think I'm done. At least, done with what I've been doing. This journey is hard. It takes a lot of time and energy to try and coordinate with people only to be ghosted or left waiting. It takes a lot of money to keep investing in new equipment or technology. It takes a lot of myself, to keep getting distracted with juggling my passion, my family, and my art - at least, in this form.
People don't realize, but even though we're an LLC, 90% of our shoots are at no cost to the models. Show up, shoot, get (what I think are) amazing photos for your portfolio. We get nothing in return except a small feeling of accomplishment. Shoots like ours are a big financial and time sink. Each shoot can take up to 20-30 hours to set up, coordinate, shoot, edit, publish, share. We do not profit in time or money from this work. Anyway...
I really don't think I have the energy for all that anymore. Not at this point in my life. For now, if I shoot, it will be for me, for my kids, for my amazing wife. For the people who really sincerely care and for whom my art will impact. We have one more scheduled shoot next weekend, and after that, unless Steena & I decide to create something, or if any of y'all who happen to be any of the truly amazing friends we've made over the past 8 years, decide you want to create with us or do something, then I think I'm going to reserve my time and my energy for me and my family. Thanks to you all for your love and support over the years.